This is the ONLY time I will ever say it, but…

April 22, 2009

…I need a boyfriend.  Why?  So I can knit him this:


Oh, you best believe we would stage a photo shoot – complete with chaff of wheat in mouth – when the sweater is finished to recreate the absurdity of the pattern photo!


Love [In A Trashcan]

April 17, 2009


So I watched Good Luck Chuck this evening, and came to a horrific realization.  I’m the female version of Chuck, only instead of marrying the next one that comes long, my exes just end up living with the next one indefinitely in what I can only assume is domestic bliss.  Terrific for them; sour times for me.


April 16, 2009


I am totally buying these for Jonathan.  I can’t handle him marking everything in site – including me – when he plays outside his cage ANY LONGER!

Jesus: The Original Zombie

April 12, 2009

At age 29, there are times I feel left out when I hear of yet another friend getting married, or buying their first home, or having kids (or more kids).  To make myself feel better, I remind myself that I chose the graduate-education-and-career-advancement route, so naturally I’m several years behind society’s typical middle class milestones.  But still, there are days I feel down.

Then Easter comes, and makes me feel so much better!


Do you think if I was married with two kids and a house in the suburbs, my mom would still get me an Easter basket?  HELL, NO!

Tell Me Why

April 7, 2009


I can always tell when I’m bored/unhappy/dissatisfied with my life, because I start buying a bunch of crap on eBay.  I just didn’t know how much I’d bought recently until I added it up today.  In the last two months, I have bought $210.69 worth of stuff off of eBay, and that does not included shipping, handling, and insurance.  A few things (like my huge ring carved out of a geode) I truly love.  But most other things (like yet another vintage purse) I immediately regret when they arrive.

So I’m cutting myself off!  No more eBay!  And if I feel the urge to buy something on eBay, I will make myself watch this before bidding.

UPDATE: My plan has backfired.  All I can think about is how cool it would be to own an ALF alarm clock.

Only Me (And Possibly Sarah Silverman)

April 5, 2009


Am I the only one who prefers a rounder Seth Rogen?  I mean, if skinny Seth Rogen knocked on my door, I’d still let him in.  But there’s something about round Seth Rogen to which I am highly attracted.


April 1, 2009

Last night, I traveled to Muncie see David Sedaris:


I even had the foresight to bring along my book so he could sign it:


Then I went and left it in the car.  Use your imagination and insert his autograph here: