January 19, 2010

The Broadripple McDonald’s is the absolute worst McDonald’s I have ever been to, and I grew up in the 80’s with heroin needles in the ball pits.  You see, I’ve recently become obsessed with collecting the Alvin and the Chipmunks figures they are currently featuring in their Happy Meals, so I stopped by the Broadripple location on my way home from work this evening and left rather pissed.

First, a Mighty Kids meal costs a dollar more in Broadripple than at the location out yonder by the Wal-Mart I usually patron.  (And by usually, I mean once a year because I’m not that into fast food.)  Second, after I paid for my meal, they told me they were out of the Chipmunks, even though they still had the Chipmunks display out.  If I were a bitch, I would have said, “No problem, I’ll just take one of those!” and made them get me the display Alvin.  But I’m not a bitch, so I just made a frowny face that went unnoticed.  Then I had to ask for a beverage, even though it comes with the meal.  Like they’re trying to save money by scamming people out of what costs them literally pennies a person.  Next, I asked for the hot mustard sauce, McDonald’s only redeeming quality in my opinion.  They said they were out of hot mustard, even though I could clearly see one last hot mustard sauce in the back of the plastic bin!  Finally, they did not offer unsweetened iced tea at this location.  Diabetes only.

As I was driving home (which was a feat in and of itself, if you’ve ever tried to turn left out of that McDonald’s onto Broadripple Avenue during rush hour traffic), I thought back to Dr. Phil.  Now, normally I roll my eyes at Dr. Phil because he looks and acts like a walrus.  But yesterday when I went to get my oil changed, I was forced to watch his walrus antics on the television in the waiting room.  And he actually said something poignant.  Well to be fair, he quoted something poignant his dad used to say: “There’s something about that person that I don’t like in me.”

For whatever reason, that quote popped into my head at the precise moment my anger toward McDonald’s peaked, and I realized it wasn’t McDonald’s at whom I was pissed – it was myself.  I was pissed because I allowed myself to let a multi-billion dollar industry con me into thinking I needed something useless.  Once I realized this, I didn’t want that Alvin anymore.

So this evening when I arrived home, I put on one of my favorite t-shirts to sleep in that I bought at a thrift store for a quarter years ago.


I’m super-duper, thanks for asking five times!

May 31, 2009


I’ve recently started following the blog What I Wore Today.  In one post, she wore this fabulous top from the Express.  Since I was going near the mall, I decided to pop in and see if they were still selling it.  I kid you not, no less than five different employees asked me how I was doing today during my quick walk through the store.  Eye rolling occurred at employee #3.  Uncontrollable laughter occurred at employee #5, after which I quickly got the hell out of there – but not before employee #1 thanked me for stopping by.

The most ridiculous part of all?  When I returned home, I double-checked the blog post.  The top was from The Limited.  D’oh!

Andrea’s Angry Dance

December 24, 2008


The holidays make me angry for a variety of reasons I won’t go into.  Typically, I tend to explode and upset those around me, but this year I’m taking advice from Bret McKenzie and am trying to dance my anger away when it arises.  The best part of all is that it really does soothe your soul!

Makes You Wonder How The Other Half Live

December 18, 2008

Apparently some of the pipes in my bathroom were leaking inside the walls, so the maintenance guys tore open my bathroom wall to fix it, stretching the project over three days.  Today was the last day during which they replaced and caulked the tiles.  Here’s a photo of the finished product:


Can you spot the problem?  You can’t?  I guess that’s because you’re not borderline ASD like I am.  When they removed the original speckled tile and stacked it in the bathroom, I assumed they would reuse it.  But no! Why would they do that, when they have solid white tile they can use so it won’t match at all?  THANK YOU, maintenance guys!  My shower looks SO much better now that it screams, “PATCH JOB!”

It seems like every time I get worried about buying my own home and I start to question whether I should, something like this happens and makes me realize that owning my own home will be the absolute best purchase I will ever make.

I hate those guys.

September 16, 2008

I renewed my driver’s license today so I could vote near my actual residence, instead of driving across town to where I used to live.  I was thrilled to step inside and see only two people in line ahead of me; I don’t think I was in the building more than 15 minutes!  But those jerks can still find ways to screw you sideways.  The camera that takes the driver’s license photos was about 10 inches lower than my line of sight.  Disregarding all my knowledge of photography and portraiture, I looked down into the camera when my picture was taken.  So now I have what appears to be a goiter in my driver’s license photo.  It looks a little something like this:

If you don’t believe me, feel free to stop by and I’ll show you my license.  Until then, I’ll be curled up on the couch crying into my pint of Ben and Jerry’s, vowing to start exercising tomorrow.


August 29, 2008

The fair train has mysteriously made an encore appearance.  I heard it go by thrice this evening, and am having a hard time comprehending why this occurred. The state fair ended several weeks ago, and this article said that if it’s approved, the light-rail commuter train (which, I’m assuming, will look a little something like the picture above) will start running in 2012. So wazzup with this phantom train?

The good news is that the article said the commuter train, if approved, won’t need to blast a horn as it speeds through residential areas. The bad news is they want to expand the line to two tracks, which means construction. The construction noise issue aside, I’m hoping they expand east. If they expand west, not only will I lose the covered parking spot I’m currently paying an extra $30 a month for, but the train will run that much closer to my bedroom window.

Goat Worth

August 22, 2008

Apparently I am not worth any goats, according to the website How Many Goats? This dismays me, since everyone I know who has taken the quiz has been worth between 9/10 of a goat to 5 goats. The website doesn’t even have the decency to apologize for nor explain my goat worthlessness – it just leaves a blank space where my goat worth should be. Let’s go through the answers one by one, shall we? I’m feeling Type A this evening.

Question 1: How old are you?
22-28 years old

Question 2: Someone will pay for the plastic surgery of your choice. You pick:
Surgery? Pfft. I don’t need that.

Question 3: Which best describes your situation?

Question 4: Your choice of drink on a hot summer day?
Boiling hot tea (Chai)

Question 5: Describe your style:
Formal when I need to be, casual when I can be, and cool when I should be

Question 6: Your car breaks down, what do you do?
Call AAA to check it out

Question 7: 3 years into your marriage you make it big, what do you do with the money?
Invest in mutual funds

Question 8: How would others describe your smell?
Glacier fresh

Question 9: You’re trapped in a grocery store bathroom (yeah, in the back). You have 30 seconds to get out and can use one of the following items to help you out. What would you pick?
*explanation: I don’t own an iPod, but it didn’t say you had to. I figure I could slide it underneath the bathroom door and wiggle it around by the ear bud cords like a fishing line. Some kid would definitely see it and come running for his or her free iPod, at which point I would snatch it back under the bathroom door and tell them that if they want a free iPod, they need to get the manager to come and unlock this bathroom door immediately.

Question 10: You’re at a crosswalk, there’s an old lady beside you and a blind man behind you. They both ask for assistance, who do you help?
I would let the blind man grab my hand first, then I would put my hand out and aid the old lady at the same time

Your goat worth is: