You Say A Lot Of Funny Things, My Little Bunny (Part 2)

So I’ve had several weeks since finishing my school externship to post this, but you know how the holidays are crazy and such.  (That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.)  Here are some choice quotes from the kids during the second half of my time at the elementary school:

me: “What’s the girl’s problem?”
student: “She doesn’t want to eat those beans.”
me: “That’s right!  But how do you know that?”
student (after thinking for a moment): “Because beans make her fart!”

student: “Sometimes people steal babies and sell them on the black market.”

me to student who wouldn’t leave the room: “You need to go back to class now…”
student with autism: “I gotta poop.”

student: “Where are you going when you leave here?”
me: “I’m not sure yet, but I’m going to look for a job at another school.”
student: “I think you’re going to Africa.”

student: “I didn’t have the stomach flu.  My stomach was hurting because I didn’t have any water or meat.”

student (to me): “Your teeth are really straight.”
me: “After three years of braces, I would hope so!”

You Say A Lot Of Funny Things, My Little Bunny (Part 1)

I can’t believe it’s been five weeks at the elementary school already!  The time has flown by, much faster than my time at the hospital.  Of course, having a fall break and three half days has helped the time along.  Here are a few choice phrases I overheard these past five weeks:

student: “Are 6-packs muscles?”
SLP: “We sometimes call our abdominal muscles 6-packs…”
student: “Um, yes…well, I have those.  I’m very active!”

male student: “Girls are bad, but teachers never catch girls doing bad things at recess and only catch boys doing bad things, so people think only boys are bad.”

student (to a friend): “My mom said you can’t come over to our house after school, because we’re not going home.”
friend: “What?  I…what?  But…but who will take care of me?!?”

student: “Um, excuse me, but your breath just touched my nose.”

me: “What do you sit on?”
student: “A cat!”
me: “You don’t sit on a cat!  What are you sitting on right now?”
student: “A chair…”
me: “Right, so what do you sit on?”
student: “A cat-chair!”

me: “Good morning!  How are you?”
student with autism: “I’m not your boyfriend!!”*

*this is how he responds to anyone who greets him

The Head Is Up!

I am officially on my first fall break since 2001!

The Head is Down

Tomorrow I start my externship at the elementary school.  Yes, I have enjoyed my six weeks of vacation, and yes, I probably squandered at least half of it.  But it was lovely nonetheless.  Most people don’t get to take six weeks off from work or school in a row, and although I should be thankful I had the opportunity, I still have that feeling in the pit of my stomach.  You know the one.

But chin up!  It’ll be fall break in just a few weeks!

Extended Staycation

I just received word that my staycation has been extended for two more weeks, so I’m to start my school externship on Monday, October 13.  Typically, I would be elated.  But while there are many awesome, free things to do in my apartment (e.g., play with Jonathan, unpack boxes, hang pictures, knit, watch TV, watch DVD’s), the only thing I want to do when I’m bored is spend money.  Unfortunately, I don’t have a lot of discretionary income these days.

Unexpected Vacation

Unfortunately, it’s not that kind of vacation. I suppose it’s really more of an unexpected staycation, since it’s too late to travel and I don’t have any money anyway. See, I was supposed to start my school externship Monday, September 8th. I just received word that my supervisor at the school doesn’t start treatment with the kids until after ISTEP. So I’m going to start my school externship Monday, September 29th. Now I have the whole month of September off, and I don’t know what to do with myself. There is talk of a weekend trip to Ann Arbor to visit one Millicent Faberge, as well as the purchasing of some pet rats. But other than that, I suppose I’ll just keep on keepin’ on with the unpacking.

My Milton Moment

I had a Milton Moment at work today. My supervisor on my externship at the hospital thought it would be good for me to go to the monthly rehab meeting from 4-5pm to “experience” what that was like. Of course, the meeting lasted until 5:30pm, and the entire time I was there, I kept eying the box of cookies one of the rehab directors had brought in. The only thing getting me through the boringness was the thought of getting to eat a cookie at the end. When the meeting was over, one of the nurses took the box, set it in her lap, and started eating all the cookies! My supervisor turned to me, said we had some work to finish up, and started to leave.  I almost went ballistic because I had been sitting there for well over an hour listening to everyone drone on about things that didn’t concern me since I’m not an employee, and I wasn’t even going to get a damn cookie! But I should have had more faith in my supervisor and her love of chocolate. On her way out, she made a detour over to the nurse’s lap and grabbed a cookie from the box. I followed suit, and therefore did not have to burn the building down after all.

Things I Have Learned Thus Far From My Hospital Externship

1. I sincerely hope I never, ever have a cerebellar/occipital lobe stroke.
2. If I need to have a colostomy, I’m requesting a colostomy bag that I don’t have to burp. I will be firm with nursing about this.
3. I have a “very dry” humor.
4. I should start taking monetary bets from people I meet when they try to guess how old I am, because they are always wrong. Always.
5. I have good taste in scrub tops: